Bill the Vampire, Rick Gualtieri

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Title:  Bill the Vampire

Author: Rick Gualtieri

Pages: 292

Genre: humor, paranormal

Is this part of a series?  Yes, book one of The Tome of Bill.

Published: October 21st, 2012


There are terrifying predators on the streets at night…. and then there’s Bill.  Living the life of an overworked programmer and gaming nerd, he is far from ready for the turn his life’s going to take.

A gorgeous woman chats him up on the subway and invites him to a party.  While he’s never been the one to be picked up…. he figures, why not?  This is no ordinary party, though…. this is a party to die for *insert demonic laughter*…. er sorry, I had to.

When Bill lives through being one of the appetizers and fights back, one of the vamps are intrigued enough to extend his protection- giving Bill three months to move from the bottom of the coven food chain to the top before he gets killed.  Again.  With his two roommates, an older vamp that’s often MIA, and the hottie that got him killed, Bill’s making a name for himself in the vampire world.  He’s special, you see, and not just because everyone else in the coven are model perfect and he…. isn’t.  He turns out to be a unique type of vamp- a freewill the likes of which haven’t been seen in centuries.  Will this be enough to keep the ones he cares about safe?

My thoughts:

I bought this eBook in 2015, and thoroughly enjoyed it (I think I gave it four stars then).  I have since bought the audio compilations for the series.  The pace is smooth, the play between characters often hilarious.  I liked Bill a lot.  He is funny, in a sarcastic wise-ass sort of way, loyal, and endearingly geeky (what can I say, I have a type).  There’s action, adventure, mayhem and missteps as Bill tries to adjust to the life of the undead.  I also loved Sally (heartless evil genius/ bad ass), and his two friends.

Now there were a few issues.  The talk about how the women looked got old.  Seriously, Bill’s a bit of a horn dog.  It’s often funny, sometimes pathetic…. and at times it goes a bit far.  I have to say it wasn’t my favorite thing ever, but everything else more than made up for it.  Think about if Vampire Diaries got together with Space balls- this is their love child.  For me, this is a five star book.  normal star ratingnormal star ratingnormal star ratingnormal star ratingnormal star rating

On the adult content scale, there’s a lot of language (both cursing and sexual innuendo), and a ton of violence.  While I would give this to my niece, I am thinking older teens and above here.  Let’s give it a five.Parental Guidance

This book has been out a long time, has anyone else read it?

Link to book:


Happy Reading and be well,




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